Thursday, December 11, 2014

Shopping for Sex Toys



So many dildos, so little time!

Yes, sex stuff sells, and carnality and capitalism have proven to be a winning combination. What was once an underground trade, advertised in the back of naughty magazines, has turned into Big Business. Want a jack-off sleeve with an aperture shaped like an asshole? Just the right lube for fisting? A buttplug hung like a horse? A super-duper sling? Inescapable restraints? The perfect flogger? Just hand over your credit card and bigger, better orgasms can be yours. (Though if you live in Arizona you’d better curb your compulsive shopping, since you can’t legally keep more than two dildos in your domicile.)

Sure, guys can have plenty of fun with no paraphernalia beyond hands and a hard-on.  But good times—especially good, kinky times—can be even more gratifying if you have the right equipment. Let’s face it: your palm can get awfully sore from administering a bare-bottom spanking. Wouldn’t you prefer a swell leather paddle that makes a gratifying WHAP while it blisters his butt? Or wrist restraints that absolve you of the responsibility of learning rope bondage?

In these high-tech times you can shop online for just about any sexy apparatus, from anal beads to a zip-up body bag, but there’s really nothing better than checking out the goods in person. Salespeople who can point out what you might enjoy, and what kind of lube to use with it, are infinitely more valuable than the hype of online adverts. And fortunately, most major metropolitan areas feature truly pleasant sex shops. Not those jack shacks out on the interstate, the ones that advertise “Bachelorette Party Supplies” and are often as not staffed by skeevy guys who look like they work traveling carnivals…though those places have their place, too.

To be sure, the lower depths can be fun. Sleazier stores often include “video arcades” featuring porn-viewing booths suitable for solitary masturbation….or more. But that’s a topic for another day. Given the choice, why not patronize clean, well-lighted shops stuffed with quality goods and staffed by knowledgeable pervs like you and me?

Going sex shopping with the one you love (or lust after) can be loads of fun, especially where trying on fetishwear is concerned. And the wonderful world of sadomasochism, with its leather and shining steel, is especially merchandise oriented. I can recall taking a self-described “slave” shopping at San Francisco’s premier emporium for leatherfolk. (And yes, it was his idea.) It was delightful to see his acquisitive little eyes light up at the sight of all that cowhide, and equally lovely to watch him try on harnesses and naked-butt chaps. But given the sad state of Sir’s bank account and the swoon-worthy price tags, it was just as well that he’d previously told me he was willing to foot the bill. When shopping for adult knick-knacks, the basic guidelines for buying anything still apply, even to tit clamps.

First, know something about what you’re shopping for. Silicone dildos, for example, are the Cadillacs of fake phalluses. They’re pricier, but they feel great and you can throw them in the dishwasher next to the Fiestaware.  (They do tear more easily than latex, though, so keep the chainsaw away.)
Second, don’t overbuy. Sure, your anal aperture may be able to accommodate that super-sized buttplug one day. But if you’re just getting into bondage, plunking down big bucks for a set of cast-iron manacles maybe a kinky case of too much, too soon. Why not start out by buying some rope from the hardware store and find out first whether restraint is your forte?

Do keep safety in mind. Cheaply made or badly designed toys can actually be hazardous. If you’re going to buy a vibrator for your butt, make sure it has a sizable flanged base or a pair of balls. Going to the emergency room with a buzzing sex toy lodged crosswise in your colon can cast a pall over Saturday night. Make sure that whatever you put on or into your body is non-toxic. And a dildo with a wire core? Uh-uh.

And just like Mom always told you, it pays to buy quality. Don’t cheap out by buying cheesy restraints that will fall apart when the going gets rough. A bargain-priced penis pump that doesn’t properly pump a penis is nobody’s idea of a smart purchase.

Buying a surprise present for that special sexy someone? Keep in mind the message that your gift will convey. If your boyfriend always wanted to be a cross-dressing slut, those plus-size crotchless panties might be just the ticket. A thoughtfully intended gift of a deluxe cock ring, though, might inadvertently say, “I know you have trouble keeping it up, so here’s a little something to help.”

A final parental note: When browsing at sex stores, a degree of politesse is called for. Just like the clientele in the clap clinic waiting room, the folks you run into at the ball-stretcher counter may be assumed to have a certain interest in sex. Discreet cruising of your fellow shopper is thus hardly out of line, but don’t expect more. And don’t harass others, no matter how horny the smell of leather makes you.

All that being said, there’s a whole wide, wonderful range of sexy stuff out there to choose from. Just remember that the body and the mind are the very best sex toys of all, and even a big drawerful of tchochkes won’t turn a dud into a stud. Now, about all those dildos….

by Simon Sheppard


Sex in The Shower: Make It The Best Sex Of Your Life



Sex in the shower can be intensely erotic, if done correctly. Some people are turned off by sex in the shower because of the awkward positioning, difficulty with penetration, and downright danger of slips and falls. If you haven’t tried it, we think you are missing out so we’ve assembled some tips, for making your sex-in-the-shower sessions safe and fun.
  1. Use Wet® Platinum® Premium Lubricant. If you plan to penetrate each other in the water, you will need to use a silicone-based lubricant, like Wet® Platinum®.  Hard water can cause additional friction so lube up but be sure to keep it off of shower floor.   Silicone-based lubricants don’t absorb in to the skin and won’t wash away without soap like water-based lubricants do, so Wet Platinum is the perfect choice. Platinum’s 16 ounce size has a pump top, so you can keep it in the shower like you would a bottle of body wash.

    Caution:  Wet Platinum is extremely slippery and does not wash away with water alone. To wash away Wet Platinum and avoid slips and falls, make sure you use soap when cleaning it up, and then wipe the inside of the shower with a degreaser thoroughly.

  2. Have a Lube Shooter Prepared. Using a lube shooter will help keep Wet® Platinum® in its proper place- between the cheeks and not on the shower floor, where it can become a safety hazard. Also, preparing a lube shooter beforehand can make the sex feel more spontaneous, since the lube is already in its place. You won’t have to stop your sexy, steamy, session to squeeze more lubricant in to your hands.
  3. Use A Waterproof Vibrating Cock Ring. Cock rings are not only for guys that have issues maintaining an erection. They are for all men everywhere. Cock rings, regardless of whether you put them around the shaft of the penis, or the scrotum, will absolutely increase the intensity of your orgasm. This is because they restrict the flow of blood within the penis, making for a stronger, harder, erection. Having the option of the extra added sensation of vibrating is always an added bonus. Reminder: never use a silicone toy with any silicone-based lubricant. The two are not compatible with each other.   Always use a cockring made of stretchy material that can be easily removed.
  4. Use A Prostate Stimulator. Prostate massages are known for giving men feelings of bliss and out-of-this-world orgasms. Whether you are in the bedroom, or in the shower, you can try a prostate stimulator.   You or your partner can wear one while getting or giving a blow job.  Tip:  Use Wet Platinum to lubricate your prostate toy before you gently insert it.
  5. Buy A Shower Chair. Shower chairs are not just for senior citizens. They are also meant for people who have amazing sex lives. Using a chair in the shower opens an array of possibilities: from sitting down and having your partner on his hands and knees, between your legs, going down on you, to sitting up straight and being straddled, or even bending your partner over the back of the seat, it’s an option that can’t be passed up.
  6. Use a Slip Resistant Mat. A cushy shower mat will help protect your knees while doing it doggy-style, and will feel soft against your back if you lay down. It will also help prevent slips and falls from any residual lubricant lying on the shower floor that you have not yet been able to clean up.
  7. Invest in a Hand Held Shower Sprayer.  Temperature and intensity of the water stream can be quickly manipulated giving additional sensations that aren’t available anywhere else.  You can purchase a couple of suction cup holders to position the spray of water where you like it most.
  8. Use a Bath Sponge and Soap. There is nothing better than feeling close to your partner after you have just made each other have mind-blowing orgasms. When you are finishing up, lather up a soft sponge with a gentle soap, and seductively clean each other up. Be sure to use plenty of skin to skin contact, while you are doing this. We recommend a gentle soap, so you can clean each other’s most sensitive areas without fear of irritation, and also so that it does not sting your eyes.
If you follow any of these tips, you are sure to have an extraordinary love or fuck making session in your shower. Guaranteed. Now go enjoy!

By Skylar Scot

Monday, October 27, 2014

SEX EDUCATION 101: 5 Things We Bet You Weren’t Taught in School

SEX EDUCATION 101:  What you weren’t taught in school…updated information to keep you and your partners safe and happy.  Summer has come and gone and students are back in school. Most likely it’s been awhile since you had a Sex Ed course and times have changed. Let’s face it—your information is old school!

New York psychiatrist and sex therapist Madeleine Castellanos, MD, offers updated, “new school” information that everyone should know to stay in the safe sex zone: 

According to the CDC, nearly half of the 19 million new STDs contracted each year are among young people aged 15–24 years (2011).

Oral sex is not considered ‘safe sex.’  HIV, HPV, herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis may all be transmitted via oral sex.  In addition, a 2011 study found that the proportion of oropharyngeal cancers related to HPV increased from 16.3% to 71.7% between 1984 and 2004.

More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STIs and their complications, not including HIV (Guttmacher Institute). STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) are definitely out there.  Protect yourself from getting them and/or spreading them.

Make oral sex safer by using a flavored condom like DKT’s Prudence brand condoms, which offer a wide variety of flavors and scents (banana, watermelon, strawberry, grape, chocolate and more) guaranteed to tickle your taste buds as well as your partner’s fancy!  

Oil and latex do not mix—so using petroleum jelly, baby oil, moisturizers or everyday kitchen oils with a condom can cause the latex to break down and increases your chance of breakage and infection. Wet® Platinum® Premium Silicone Lubricant and WET® URANUS™ Anal Lube are both latex- friendly. When used correctly, Wet lube also helps to reduce excess friction, thus lessening the risk of tears.

Wet hopes these tips from sex therapist, MD and psychotherapist, Dr. Madeleine Castellanos will keep you and your partner safe and intimate.

Growing Up Sleazy by Simon Sheppard

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Monday, August 25, 2014

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Do You Nuru? Make It As Hot Inside As It IS OUT!

Learn How to Give a Nuru Massage
How to Give a Nuru Massage with Wet Nuru Massage Gel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV9BvuwqvE8



It's steamy hot outside, so why not make it just as hot inside? Relax at home with a steamy DVD. Find a sexy movie that turns you both on and a cool space to relax. As you watch, feed each other popsicles or chilled white wine. Kissing and nuzzling will soon lead to massages. The next thing you know, you'll be teaching the people in the film that you're watching a new move or two.  Give each other sensual massage with Wet® Nuru Massage Gel --always an erotic idea. Watch our Video to learn Nuru massage techniques.


Enjoy the heat!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

You Kids Get Off My Parade!

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10 Reasons to Use Wet Platinum



1.  Wet Platinum Stays Wet Longer.
Wet Platinum is a silicone-based lubricant. Unlike water-based lubricants, silicone molecules are large and are not absorbed, so they remain on the surface of the skin. Because Wet Platinum contains no water, it does not evaporate either, giving you longer-lasting, slippery, friction-free play. There is no mood-breaking, stopping to re-apply necessary. Platinum is always slick, guaranteed never sticky, and doesn’t dry out.

2.  Wet Platinum Makes Sex Better.
Sex without lube nearby, is sure to stop pleasurable intercourse in its tracks. At least one partner at this point may feel turned off and be thinking “I could really use some lubricant right now!” With the mood already at stake, you’re going to need something you can grab quick, apply, and be able to get your groove on. Wet Platinum is the best choice because it’s easy as 1, 2, and 3! Grab it, squeeze it, apply it and you’re ready to go. Absolutely no need to worry because Platinum gives you the perfect slippery glide, and won’t become messy, clumped up, dried out, or sticky. And since it won’t dry out, you just need a small amount. Apply Wet Platinum to your penis, sex toys*, and interior/exterior of your condom or anywhere else your heart desires, slip right in, work your magic and enjoy the ride.

*Please note that Wet Platinum is not recommended for use with silicone toys.

3.  Wet Platinum is Safer.
A 2010 Study by Microbicides: Building Bridges in HIV Prevention, named the Use Of Lubricants, Unprotected Anal Sex and the Risk of HIV, compared five lubricants against each other (Astroglide, Elbow Grease, ID Glide, KY Jelly and Wet Platinum). A sixth product named PRÉ was used as a control. The study was looking for the safest lubricant that did the least amount of damage to cellular walls, during anal sex. Damage to cell walls during sex can cause tearing and increase the likelihood of transmission of STI's. The study concluded that "Wet Platinum and PRÉ were the safest. The hyperosmolar nature of the other lubricant gels was associated with cellular toxicity and may lead to increased risk of HIV infection." Wet was the only silicone-based lubricant in the study. The others were water-based. This and one other study examining the effects of sexual lubricants used in anal sex were presented in April at the International Microbicides Conference.

Safety Precaution:  Wet Platinum is very slippery so take care to clean any spills immediately.

4.  Wet Platinum Has Many Uses. 
Dab it in your hair for some shine. Condition your skin and Latex Fetish Wear. Use it for vaginal and/or anal sex. Masturbate in the shower or in bed. Use a palm size amount to give your partner a sensual massage (and it won’t dry up!). Use it to get a really close shave, but be careful not to slip on it in the shower. Put a drop of Platinum on a sticking door or cabinet to stop the squeaking, or use it to untangle knotted bicycle or jewelry chains. Glide it over your body and slip easily in to your wetsuit. The possibilities are endless!

5.  Wet Platinum Uses the Highest Quality Ingredients and is a 510k Accepted Medical Device.
Wet Platinum uses ingredients that are non-GMO (Genetically Modified Organism), gluten-free, vegan friendly, and contains only plant derived glycerin. Wet Platinum is an FDA (Food and Drug Administration) accepted, Class II medical device. It is also certified Kosher.  That’s right!  Platinum contains no animal-based ingredients and is manufactured and self-certified according to guidelines set forth by the Rabbinical Council of California.

6.  No Smell. No Taste. 
A common complaint about personal lubricants is the way they taste and/or smell.
We take this complaint seriously. While Wet Platinum is an accepted medical device, it does not smell or taste like an antiseptic or any other chemical. It’s completely odorless, has no taste and is considered harmless if ingested.

7.  Doctor Recommended.
The Wet Platinum formula is non-irritating.  Wet products are sampled in medical offices throughout the United States and Canada and have received stellar patient reviews and recommendations from medical doctors. Read more about why Wet is doctor recommended.

8.  Available Everywhere.
Wet has been widely available in love boutiques since 1989.  We understand that not everyone is comfortable visiting their local adult boutique and not all of us live in a city where adult boutiques exist. The adult boutiques do offer a wider selection of Wet products and other intimacy products so check them out if you have the opportunity.  For your convenience, Wet is now widely available in all major pharmacies and mass market retailers across the United States and Canada, and is available online as well, with discreet shipping at www.buywet.com.

“Not a day goes by that I do not mention your products,” says Dr. Jacob Klein. “The availability in CVS and Walgreens has certainly helped.”

To locate a store near you, that carries Wet, please visit Wet Locator.

9.  Can Be Used in Water. 
There really is nothing better than hot sex in the shower. Besides installing handles on your shower walls to hold on to during your steamy sessions, the next essential item is a bottle of waterproof lubricant. Take silicone-based Wet Platinum in the shower with you, squirt some on your fingers, apply to self and/or partner and you’re ready to go. Wet Platinum can also be used in Jacuzzis, lakes, rivers, oceans, bathtubs, and swimming pools. The water will roll over the lube like a bead of water on a leaf. When you’re done and want to clean up just lather up and rinse off, or carry a package of baby wipes on you for fast efficient clean up.

Caution:  Silicone lubricants will break down the silicone seals on your hot tubs, spas and pools over time so it’s best to use it sparingly.

10.  It’s Good Karma! 
We believe that companies are like individuals, each creating their own "Karma." Giving back has been paramount to us since our inception. Through our charitable giving program, we contribute to the work of more than 300 non-profit organizations worldwide.


Kylene Wolfstein, Blogger for Wet Personal Lubricants

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Monday, June 23, 2014

Hook Up Safety: Put On Your Hardhat and Know Your Plans Before You Go

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How Do I Meet Mr. Right, Not Mr. Right Now?




How Do I Meet Mr. Right, Not Mr. Right Now?

Recent Messages from Facebook:  “How do I meet someone who wants the same thing I do?" "I am sick of the club or party scene. What alternatives are there for gay folks to meet?"  "I am too shy to talk to someone."  "What can I do to meet like-minded gay guys?"

As we know, Grindr is considered the ultimate hookup app because it lets you find someone geographically desirable, though it’s typically not in hopes of a long time love affair.  You could try searching on Adam4Adam or Manhunt or more.  But with these you may still find that most are still looking for sex as their goal.  The club scene or circuit lifestyle are a wild time but not for everyone and usually not the best place to meet a long-term partner.  And you don't want to fish from the pool of friends your ex knows on Facebook, cause that could be dangerous if you all have the same friends and your ex is someone you’ve been trying to avoid. Speaking of exes, if you are still pining for your him, there's even a new service on Match.com that helps you find someone that looks like him using facial recognition software from an L.A.-based firm, Three Day Rule but that will cost you about $5,000 PER MONTH! But they also set up a pre-date for you in case they are wrong about your type, so it is more of a match-making system.

So how are men finding each other these days? What are some of the best ways to meet someone? Places to make a connection other than the hook-up?:


  1. Gay Men’s Meetup groups at meetup.com.
  2. Your local Gay/LGBTQ centers where group meetings are held to discuss how to meet people.
  3. Gay men’s book clubs. There are clubs that read gay erotica together or the latest New York Times best-selling author.  Check with your local librarian.
  4. Gay Singles’ Cruises.  While the goal here may be the ultimate in party sex, several long-lasting relationships have come from them.  I personally know of 5 couples that have been together from a cruise from Ft.Lauderdale, Florida to the Caribbean. That was two years ago and these couples are still going strong.  I guess with over 5,000 guests that are all gay the odds of finding someone there are pretty good.
  5. Let someone find you:  Doing what you love doing and when you least expect it.  Make sure you don’t give up your hobbies while looking for love.  Note:  Cruising Grindr should not be considered a hobby.  Long-term lovers need to have things in common and finding one who loves collecting antique Soviet calculators as much as you do may be on the road to being a keeper.  


Wet would love to know more about how you found your partner.
Was it shopping for bowties at that new trendy shop on the corner? Was it luck? Were you introduced? Was he a friend of a friend that you always wanted to talk to and finally got up the nerve?  Tell us, we would really like to hear the stories and suggestions. Find us on Facebook and send a Direct Message: Facebook/thewetguy

For the shy ones, finding someone new is even more challenging. If we hear any more tips, we’ll post them in a future blog post or on Twitter and Facebook.   Follow us on FB at /thewetguy or on Twitter @wetplatinumman.

June Is HIV/AIDS Awareness Month and June 27th Is National HIV Awareness Day



This year, Wet Personal Lubricants has partnered with Chicagoland HIV Testing Collaborative’s (CHTC) "Step Up. Get Tested." campaign by donating 100,000 Safe Sex Kits containing a condom and a sample of Wet Platinum Premium Silicone Lubricant.  The Wet Safe Sex Kits will be handed out at mobile HIV testing units across the Chicago area June 5th through July 4th, 2014. The goal is to not only test at least 5,000 people every June, but to reduce the stigma and fear that surrounds HIV testing.

Last year, CHTC’s "Step Up. Get Tested." campaign made 40,000 contacts in one month and tested well over 5,000 people, giving away 100,000 Wet Safe Sex kits in the process. This campaign is one of the many HIV Testing and awareness campaigns happening in cities across America to mark this awareness day with activities that encourage people to get tested regularly for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. We believe everyone should say yes to the test!

“We’re proud to be the exclusive lubricant sponsor for Step Up. Get Tested.," said Michael Trigg, founder and CEO of Trigg Labs. “We hope our safe sex kits will increase public awareness to reduce the stigma associated with getting tested for HIV. It’s so important to get educated, tested, and to know your current HIV status. Information is power and with that information you can protect yourself and others and, if necessary, get the proper treatment and counseling to live long and healthy lives.”

GET TESTED!

The only way to know if you have HIV is to get tested. Testing is relatively simple. You can get an HIV test from your doctor or healthcare provider, community health center, Veteran’s health center, a local family planning clinic, and other many locations.  HIV testing is available FREE and ANONYMOUS in many places.  For HIV testing resources visit:  www.hivtest.cdc.gov

To learn more about HIV and the stages of the disease that lead to AIDS, visit the Center for Disease Control.  www.cdc.gov/hiv

CONDOM SENSE!

Using a condom is a very effective way to prevent contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or infection (STI).  The catch?  Only Consistently + Correctly = Effectively

Condom Tips:

Check the expiration date!
Yes, they do have one.  Look for it before you purchase the condoms and before you use each one to be sure that it hasn’t expired.

Buy condoms that fit properly.
Like us, condoms come in a variety of sizes. Condoms that are too tight are uncomfortable and don’t leave enough room for semen to burst in on the scene. Condoms that are too loose can hold air bubbles that can increase breakage. They can also slip off easily. For more details on condom sizes, go to http://www.condomdepot.com/reviews/best-condoms.cfm

Store condoms in a cool, dry place.
Latex can dry out and become brittle when it’s stored in summer heat or winter cold or when   temperatures vary throughout the day. Your glove box or your wallet may seem like the most convenient option but they are not the best places for storing them.

Open the wrapper with your hands.
Sometimes they are tricky to open.  It’s tempting to use your teeth or scissors.  Teeth and any other sharp instrument should be avoided, as the risk of puncturing or tearing the condom is higher if you do.

Put the condom on before there is any genital to genital contact.
Any exchange of bodily fluids harbors the risk of transmission.  This exchange can happen well before penetration so be sure you wrap it up before the action gets hot and heavy.

Lubrication is important!
Placing a drop of personal lubricant on the inside of the condom before you roll it on will enhance your enjoyment. Using lubricant generously on the outside of the condom will reduce friction and thereby reduce the risk of the condom breaking. Use an FDA approved Personal Lubricant such as Wet® Light®, Wet® Platinum®, and Wet® Uranus™ Silicone-Based. These have all been certified as 510(k) medical devices for use with condoms.

Be sure it is not inside out before you start.
Both the tip of the condom and the rolled edge should be pointing the same direction.

See illustration here:  http://aidssupportgroupsaba.com/photographs/condom1.jpg

Do not unroll the condom before you put it on.
You must unroll the condom down the shaft all the way to the bottom. This can apply to toys too.  Do not share toys with your partner unless you put a fresh condom on the toy in between uses.

Pinch the reservoir tip while you are rolling on the condom.  
Once the condom has been rolled on completely, be sure to squeeze out any air bubbles.

Hold on to the base of the condom when you pull out. 
The muscles of the rectum are strong. They might peel that condom right off. Take it out with you to prevent spilling the contents on or in your partner.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Whacks His Balls With Lube??? What?


Funny Uses for Wet Lube!

Aaron Bowden won the video challenge of coming up with unique ways of using lube! (Well, are they that unique?) watch and find out for yourself.  We enjoyed the hilarious antics of Aaron as he pours Wet Platinum lubricant on his melons, his weiner and his balls.


Thursday, May 15, 2014

Speaking of Performance Anxiety by Guest blogger: Simon Sheppard

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5 Tips for Putting Sexual Topics on the Table


Our culture has created a wealth of taboo subjects and masturbation is merely one of them.  Whether wanting to discuss living out a fantasy together, trying a new sex position, experimenting with anal sex for the first time, or asking about getting tested for STDs, how does one broach the topic without sounding like you are unhappy with the present state of your relationship or without fearing rejection of your ideas?

In our last article Masturbation, My Favorite Pastime, we mention open communication and we say this often--open, honest communication drives intimacy.  While it should be easy to discuss sex with your partner, it isn’t always so simple. Even couples who have been together a long time can find it difficult to bring up new topics since people’s needs change over time.
How do you bring up that saucy subject? Here are some tips to remember before you start the discussion:

1.Have a Goal: First be clear on your own goals for the topic and how you feel. Do some self-reflection to understand what it is you really want, need, or desire and know where you might want to end up before you begin.  Stay focused on the topic.  Don’t allow other issues to creep into the conversation.

2.Find the Right Place and Time: Try to wait until you are at home or somewhere private.  If necessary, make a date or appointment to talk about it.Talking about sex in a public place may make your partner feel uncomfortable. It is better to do it somewhere that you can make eye contact and give it your full attention.  In the car while driving is not a good time or place for this.Don’t start the conversation if it’s time for the kids to take a bath, or your partner just stepped into the house from a long day at work.Stress and exhaustion could lead you down a negative result when all you wanted was a clear, frank discussion about your wants and needs.
 
3.Use Neutral Language: Don’t use any confrontational language or finger pointing. Be sure any topic you bring up is in the nature of exploration and state up front that you are trying to make your wants, needs, and desires heard and that you will feel better in your relationship if you are allowed the opportunity.

4.Explain What You Want (and/or Don’t Want).  Be specific.  If you aren’t exactly sure what you want, now would be a good time to go through a yes, no, maybe list.  What is that?  Your new best friend.  Check out one Austin’s That Other Paper.  Ask your partner to fill out the chart as well.  It is a quick way to determine what your playing field really is.  Everyone is different in terms of what turns them on and what turns them off.  The better you become at communicating these things to each other, the easier it is for them to help you fulfill them.  Remember to respect what is a turn off to them.

5.Above All – Listen. Once the conversation is started, it is important that you listen with respect and wait before responding.  Often  a miscommunication arises when one thinks they understand and jump in to explain and that makes people get defensive. Wait. Listen. Relax. And if you have chosen the right time, refrained from defensive or accusatory language, the discussion should go better.

Conversation starters:

What would you think if I wanted to _____?

How often do you think about sex?

How would you feel if you found me watching porn without you? Turned on? Upset?

Tell me about a sexual fantasy you haven’t told me about before.

What was has been our hottest sexual experience together?

What is the most erotic thing two people can do together?

I feel like our sex life could be more exciting if we could try _________.  How do you feel about that?

Masturbation, my favorite past time


In case you didn’t know, May is Masturbation Month and in honor of this most excellent celebration, we decided to run a contest to find the best euphemisms for one of our favorite pastimes. This led me down a path of self-discovery.

I love masturbation as a pastime.  It’s free, it’s safe and it’s the one thing in your life where you have total say over when you want it, where you want it, how you want it, and how long you want to do it.

Wikipedia defines masturbation as
the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals.  That could mean that you are stimulating yourself by yourself or you could be stimulating yourself while being intimate with someone else.  There is an art to stimulating yourself and many people become highly skilled at it.  Your partner can learn a lot about you from watching you master your craft.

Pleasuring oneself by oneself used to be considered the height of taboo and in some cultures this is still a serious no-no but that doesn’t seem to stop so many people from enjoying themselves…literally.  When I decided to write on this topic, I Googled it to get a deeper understanding of where we are on the subject.   It was interesting to see that religious sites opining a variety of thoughts on masturbation popped up frequently.  Many with healthier views than I would have imagined.  There were also a slew of sites advocating the practice for health and pleasure.  Mainstream publications such as Men’s Health Magazine, routinely discuss the topic in positive ways, yet, there remains a strong puritanical stance against the idea of masturbation and these publications are often criticized for their content.  With all of this information at our fingertips, why do we still giggle like sixth graders at the phrase Jerkin’ the Gherkin?

We find the need to create euphemisms and expressions for masturbation in order to even mention this strongly tabooed subject.  These euphemisms have been finding their way into pop culture for decades. Take The Sex Pistols’ ‘Friggin’ in the Riggin’ for example, the song’s title is a nod to a sailor’s self-delight and it includes another slang phrase commonly used in the U.K., ‘wanking in the planking’.  Those raucous young lads were edgy.  Euphemisms like these are still in use today because the topic still makes us generally uncomfortable.  This is why we came up with the Masturbation May contest.  We hope to help reduce the stigma associated with masturbation.

Why the taboo?  For one, religious thought has historically been that masturbation goes against God’s plan for procreation. That any spilled seed is wasted when the act of masturbation is performed. And it was also commonly thought that masturbation was highly addictive.  Therefore, if masturbation was not ‘nipped in the bud’ so to speak, then it could create all sorts of problems.  If the masses were too busy pleasuring themselves then they couldn’t become highly-functioning citizens contributing to the greater good. 

Let’s face it, if it feels good, then, why not?  The stigma of masturbation seems to be inching its way towards greater acceptance in this culture.  But, while a majority of men have no problems with it, it is still considered a tough subject for some. Maybe they got caught in the act at a young age which resulted in fear and anxiety.  Some prefer to do it only in private, some with their partners, but make no mistake, everyone does it.

Discussing and encouraging self-pleasure can be daunting for some, while other couples are completely open and honest about their masturbation habits.  As always, communication is the key for any healthy sexual relationship.  Your partner may have different needs than you do in this arena and it is healthy to talk about it. Masturbating is an important part of life and there are many benefits. When couples have been together for a long time, it can manage the libido differences between partners.

For those not in a relationship or those who prefer to stay celibate, it is a natural expression of self-love and a healthy outlet for fantasies. Orgasms have been shown to reduce stress, decrease depression and certainly help avoid STIs. For men, orgasms may even prevent prostate cancer! All single people out there should be reaping the benefits of orgasms!

OK, in case you still want to giggle like a sixth grader
…some of the phrases submitted to our Masturbation May contest included:  Spank the monkey, Hit the clit, I’m off to give the kitty some overdue attention, I’m going downstairs to stroke my ego, Buff the banana and Burp the worm. And make no mistake, this is not a purely American thing. Many other countries have their own euphemisms.  The French say “Tirer la pipe” which translates to pull the pipe, Mexican’s say, “Me fui a mi casa con Manuel”, I went home with Manuel (my hand), and I love the German “Fünf gegen einen”, five against one.  Suffice it to say, they all mean the same thing… “I’m off to… Master my Domain.

Feel free to Google Masturbation for yourself and start your own self-discovery.  Let’s see if we can get the topic trending and really give it the attention it deserves.

Carry on…and #LubeYourTube.   Twitter @Wetplatinumman

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Win a Gift Basket of Lube! Enter our Giveaway today!

Give us your best names for masturbation, and the winner will receive, well, let's just say...enough to keep him happy for awhile... Here are some examples we have seen so far: "Jerkin the gerkin", "Rub the nub", "Spank the Monkey" Ok, Ready? Set? Go!  With the naming that is...jeez.


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