Gay Sex, Queer Cinema

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Hook Up Safety: Put On Your Hardhat and Know Your Plans Before You Go

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How Do I Meet Mr. Right, Not Mr. Right Now?

How Do I Meet Mr. Right, Not Mr. Right Now?

Recent Messages from Facebook:  “How do I meet someone who wants the same thing I do?" "I am sick of the club or party scene. What alternatives are there for gay folks to meet?"  "I am too shy to talk to someone."  "What can I do to meet like-minded gay guys?"

As we know, Grindr is considered the ultimate hookup app because it lets you find someone geographically desirable, though it’s typically not in hopes of a long time love affair.  You could try searching on Adam4Adam or Manhunt or more.  But with these you may still find that most are still looking for sex as their goal.  The club scene or circuit lifestyle are a wild time but not for everyone and usually not the best place to meet a long-term partner.  And you don't want to fish from the pool of friends your ex knows on Facebook, cause that could be dangerous if you all have the same friends and your ex is someone you’ve been trying to avoid. Speaking of exes, if you are still pining for your him, there's even a new service on Match.com that helps you find someone that looks like him using facial recognition software from an L.A.-based firm, Three Day Rule but that will cost you about $5,000 PER MONTH! But they also set up a pre-date for you in case they are wrong about your type, so it is more of a match-making system.

So how are men finding each other these days? What are some of the best ways to meet someone? Places to make a connection other than the hook-up?:

1. Gay Men’s Meetup groups at meetup.com.
2. Your local Gay/LGBTQ centers where group meetings are held to discuss how to meet people.
3. Gay men’s book clubs. There are clubs that read gay erotica together or the latest New York Times best-selling author.  Check with your local librarian.
4. Gay Singles’ Cruises.  While the goal here may be the ultimate in party sex, several long-lasting relationships have come from them.  I personally know of 5 couples that have been together from a cruise from Ft.Lauderdale, Florida to the Caribbean. That was two years ago and these couples are still going strong.  I guess with over 5,000 guests that are all gay the odds of finding someone there are pretty good.
5. Let someone find you:  Doing what you love doing and when you least expect it.  Make sure you don’t give up your hobbies while looking for love.  Note:  Cruising Grindr should not be considered a hobby.  Long-term lovers need to have things in common and finding one who loves collecting antique Soviet calculators as much as you do may be on the road to being a keeper.  

Wet would love to know more about how you found your partner.
Was it shopping for bowties at that new trendy shop on the corner? Was it luck? Were you introduced? Was he a friend of a friend that you always wanted to talk to and finally got up the nerve?  Tell us, we would really like to hear the stories and suggestions. Find us on Facebook and send a Direct Message: Facebook/thewetguy

For the shy ones, finding someone new is even more challenging. If we hear any more tips, we’ll post them in a future blog post or on Twitter and Facebook.   Follow us on FB at /thewetguy or on Twitter @wetplatinumman.

June Is HIV/AIDS Awareness Month and June 27th Is National HIV Awareness Day

This year, Wet Personal Lubricants has partnered with Chicagoland HIV Testing Collaborative’s (CHTC) "Step Up. Get Tested." campaign by donating 100,000 Safe Sex Kits containing a condom and a sample of Wet Platinum Premium Silicone Lubricant.  The Wet Safe Sex Kits will be handed out at mobile HIV testing units across the Chicago area June 5th through July 4th, 2014. The goal is to not only test at least 5,000 people every June, but to reduce the stigma and fear that surrounds HIV testing.

Last year, CHTC’s "Step Up. Get Tested." campaign made 40,000 contacts in one month and tested well over 5,000 people, giving away 100,000 Wet Safe Sex kits in the process. This campaign is one of the many HIV Testing and awareness campaigns happening in cities across America to mark this awareness day with activities that encourage people to get tested regularly for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. We believe everyone should say yes to the test!

“We’re proud to be the exclusive lubricant sponsor for Step Up. Get Tested.," said Michael Trigg, founder and CEO of Trigg Labs. “We hope our safe sex kits will increase public awareness to reduce the stigma associated with getting tested for HIV. It’s so important to get educated, tested, and to know your current HIV status. Information is power and with that information you can protect yourself and others and, if necessary, get the proper treatment and counseling to live long and healthy lives.”

GET TESTED!

The only way to know if you have HIV is to get tested. Testing is relatively simple. You can get an HIV test from your doctor or healthcare provider, community health center, Veteran’s health center, a local family planning clinic, and other many locations.  HIV testing is available FREE and ANONYMOUS in many places.  For HIV testing resources visit:  www.hivtest.cdc.gov

To learn more about HIV and the stages of the disease that lead to AIDS, visit the Center for Disease Control.  www.cdc.gov/hiv

CONDOM SENSE!

Using a condom is a very effective way to prevent contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or infection (STI).  The catch?  Only Consistently + Correctly = Effectively

Condom Tips:

Check the expiration date!
Yes, they do have one.  Look for it before you purchase the condoms and before you use each one to be sure that it hasn’t expired.

Buy condoms that fit properly.
Like us, condoms come in a variety of sizes. Condoms that are too tight are uncomfortable and don’t leave enough room for semen to burst in on the scene. Condoms that are too loose can hold air bubbles that can increase breakage. They can also slip off easily. For more details on condom sizes, go to http://www.condomdepot.com/reviews/best-condoms.cfm

Store condoms in a cool, dry place.
Latex can dry out and become brittle when it’s stored in summer heat or winter cold or when   temperatures vary throughout the day. Your glove box or your wallet may seem like the most convenient option but they are not the best places for storing them.

Open the wrapper with your hands.
Sometimes they are tricky to open.  It’s tempting to use your teeth or scissors.  Teeth and any other sharp instrument should be avoided, as the risk of puncturing or tearing the condom is higher if you do.

Put the condom on before there is any genital to genital contact.
Any exchange of bodily fluids harbors the risk of transmission.  This exchange can happen well before penetration so be sure you wrap it up before the action gets hot and heavy.

Lubrication is important!
Placing a drop of personal lubricant on the inside of the condom before you roll it on will enhance your enjoyment. Using lubricant generously on the outside of the condom will reduce friction and thereby reduce the risk of the condom breaking. Use an FDA approved Personal Lubricant such as Wet® Light®, Wet® Platinum®, and Wet® Uranus™ Silicone-Based. These have all been certified as 510(k) medical devices for use with condoms.

Be sure it is not inside out before you start.
Both the tip of the condom and the rolled edge should be pointing the same direction.

See illustration here:  http://aidssupportgroupsaba.com/photographs/condom1.jpg

Do not unroll the condom before you put it on.
You must unroll the condom down the shaft all the way to the bottom. This can apply to toys too.  Do not share toys with your partner unless you put a fresh condom on the toy in between uses.

Pinch the reservoir tip while you are rolling on the condom.  
Once the condom has been rolled on completely, be sure to squeeze out any air bubbles.

Hold on to the base of the condom when you pull out. 
The muscles of the rectum are strong. They might peel that condom right off. Take it out with you to prevent spilling the contents on or in your partner.

Whacks His Balls With Lube??? What?

Aaron Bowden won the video challenge of coming up with unique ways of using lube! (Well, are they that unique?) watch and find out for yourself.  We enjoyed the hilarious antics of Aaron as he pours Wet Platinum lubricant on his melons, his weiner and his balls.

Speaking of Performance Anxiety by Guest blogger: Simon Sheppard

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5 Tips for Putting Sexual Topics on the Table

Our culture has created a wealth of taboo subjects and masturbation is merely one of them.  Whether wanting to discuss living out a fantasy together, trying a new sex position, experimenting with anal sex for the first time, or asking about getting tested for STDs, how does one broach the topic without sounding like you are unhappy with the present state of your relationship or without fearing rejection of your ideas?

In our last article “Masturbation, My Favorite Pastime”, we mention open communication and we say this often--open, honest communication drives intimacy.  While it should be easy to discuss sex with your partner, it isn’t always so simple. Even couples who have been together a long time can find it difficult to bring up new topics since people’s needs change over time.
How do you bring up that saucy subject? Here are some tips to remember before you start the discussion:

1.Have a Goal: First be clear on your own goals for the topic and how you feel. Do some self-reflection to understand what it is you really want, need, or desire and know where you might want to end up before you begin.  Stay focused on the topic.  Don’t allow other issues to creep into the conversation.

2.Find the Right Place and Time: Try to wait until you are at home or somewhere private.  If necessary, make a date or appointment to talk about it.Talking about sex in a public place may make your partner feel uncomfortable. It is better to do it somewhere that you can make eye contact and give it your full attention.  In the car while driving is not a good time or place for this.Don’t start the conversation if it’s time for the kids to take a bath, or your partner just stepped into the house from a long day at work.Stress and exhaustion could lead you down a negative result when all you wanted was a clear, frank discussion about your wants and needs.
 
3.Use Neutral Language: Don’t use any confrontational language or finger pointing. Be sure any topic you bring up is in the nature of exploration and state up front that you are trying to make your wants, needs, and desires heard and that you will feel better in your relationship if you are allowed the opportunity.

4.Explain What You Want (and/or Don’t Want).  Be specific.  If you aren’t exactly sure what you want, now would be a good time to go through a yes, no, maybe list.  What is that?  Your new best friend.  Check out one Austin’s That Other Paper.  Ask your partner to fill out the chart as well.  It is a quick way to determine what your playing field really is.  Everyone is different in terms of what turns them on and what turns them off.  The better you become at communicating these things to each other, the easier it is for them to help you fulfill them.  Remember to respect what is a turn off to them.

5.Above All – Listen. Once the conversation is started, it is important that you listen with respect and wait before responding.  Often  a miscommunication arises when one thinks they understand and jump in to explain and that makes people get defensive. Wait. Listen. Relax. And if you have chosen the right time, refrained from defensive or accusatory language, the discussion should go better.

Conversation starters:

What would you think if I wanted to _____?

How often do you think about sex?

How would you feel if you found me watching porn without you? Turned on? Upset?

Tell me about a sexual fantasy you haven’t told me about before.

What was has been our hottest sexual experience together?

What is the most erotic thing two people can do together?

I feel like our sex life could be more exciting if we could try _________.  How do you feel about that?